10 Things That Would Spur a Liberal Comeback

10. The National Campaign Bus Falls into a snow drift trapping the National Liberal Executive for a week, and candidates rely solely on their own local campaigns.

9. Klein, Day, and Rob Anders take off their duct tape a few days early.

8. Belinda Stronach admits she slept with Bill Clinton, taking all attention of the national campaigns.

7. Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly comment on the Canadian election. (anything would help)

6. Harper has a joint press conference with Lucien Bouchard.

5. Bilderbergs announce that attendees must drink the blood of a virgin at their secret meetings in France. (Harper attended)

4. Harper announces Randy White and Myron Thompson would be his first choices for judges on the Supreme Court.

3. Stephen Harper says he wants to put a nuclear warhead on the Canadarm

2. Jean Lapierre defects to the Conservatives.

And the Number One Thing That Would Spur A Liberal Comeback

1. Peter C Newman releases his tapes of his "Conversations with Stephen Harper"