Joe's Top 10 Cabin Moments
Gone....but not forgotten. It is still
hard to
comprehend that "The Cabin" is in foreign hands. In life we have
to stay positive, so are some of my personal favourite cabin
moments. These are non sexual moments, and seem to be alcohol
fuelled.
10. The Funnel
An infamous friend of the cabin. The very same one
that Dave told his dad that he uses to put oil in cars (Dave doesn't
have a car). There have been many types of alcohol flowing
through it (beer, vodka, whiskey), and many after effects. This is one
of the few items that can still be used outside the cabin's boundaries,
but it just doesn't have the same charm.
9. Roadtrips
Great memories of going to the cabin is going on road
trips during the day. One particular one was to the beautiful
town of Jasper. Such long drives can effect the rational thoughts
of a person. Hence why we were pretending to have sexual slapping
fetish with a football, and driving by a Legion and discussing what
naughty things we would say to those ladies while making love to
them. This same trip was also home to the infamous incident where
I almost got into a fight with two homosexuals. The flamer one
walked out of the store saying to his boyfriend, "Boy, we have to go
back to THAT store." Joe, being his mischievous self, repeated
what he said in an even more flamyer tone. The stare down and
yakking started, but they knew better in the end not to mess.
8. Chemical Fires
Nothing spells fun more than a good ole chemical
fire. Various petro-chemicals can really get a fire going.
Many may not know this, but Dave really likes fire. Some may say
he is a pyromaniac. I think if an environmental assessment is to
be done around the fire pit, it would be rank up there with the Sydney
Tar Ponds and Uranium City Sask. Not only the things we put in to
fuel the fire were memorable (ex. the front porch, the old outhouse),
so were the explosives. A can of beans can make quite the explosion.
7. The Darwell Trading Post
The traditional post cabin meal trip. It is
location about five minutes west of West Cove. Before we head
home, it was mandatory to stop there for lunch. It is the
stereotypical small town Alberta eatery. It is the restaurant,
bar, store and post office all in one building. Of course there
is only pictures of Budweiser swimsuit girls in the bar.
Everything on the menu is greasy, and make sure you get the curly fries
instead of the regular ones, they are possibly the worst fries I have
ever ate.
6. Dave's outhouse incident
OK, I'm driving Dave and Kev out to the cabin on this
trip. The most natural and easiest way to get there is to go to
Dave's first, then Kevin's and off we go. Well, Dave wants me to
go to Kev's first to pick up his computer because his little sister is
harassing him to get it. So I have to criss-cross town before a
cabin trip for him. What a bastard. So there is payback in
order. Dave went into the outhouse to do his business. I was at
the fire with a marshmallow stick. So we quietly stick it in the
lock hole and pretend no one is around. Dave tries to get out,
even starts body checking the door, to no avail. He starts
yelling for help, and if anyone is around. After 10-15 minutes,
we finally let our presence be known. Dave is fuming by
now. So I decide to get some of my roman candles and start
shooting them at the outhouse. Dave starts freaking out, and starts
trying to knock the roof off to get out. We finally let him out after
around 20 mins in that shitter. Payback a bitch, hey Dave.
5. Keith's "T-Shirt"
Keith is one classy guy. His family owned the
cabin. So we have to put a few of his stories on here. Now
for some of this story, I didn't see what happened, but I saw the after
effects of it. We had quite a few people out at the cabin this
time, and the alcohol was flowing. Everyone was horsing around,
shooting roman candles at each other, you know, typical stuff.
One of the guys out there goes and gives Keith a super wedgy. It
was so violent, that he actually ripped his ginch off. Quite a
prize indeed. So he hangs it up like a flag for the world to
see. One of the girls gets back, and sports the question, "Hey
who's T-shirt is that?" "That's Keith's underwear", someone
replies. She, of course, seeing that site starts to freak out.
4. Made in Canada
One of the things that we do out at the cabin, is that we
bring movies and tapes of TV shows to watch when we are not outside, or
if the weather is crappy. Dave brings out this tape of the show
Made in Canada. It could be an OK show, but it is now cabin
material. We have stuff like The Simpsons, Revenge of the Nerds,
Slap Shot, Army of Darkness, Orgazmo, etc. Made in Canada is not
in this category. Dave kept trying to get us to watch it, but to
no success. Late in the evening, Kev gets the idea that we should
pretend to throw Dave tape outside, and when he can't find it, we will
tell him that its outside. It is actually hidden in the cabin
somewhere. So at 2 in the morning, Dave starts looking outside
for this tape. He is out there for about 45 minutes in the dark,
looking around for a black tape. He's getting all pissed off
because we are not helping him, plus we keep telling him its out there
somewhere. By this time, we put the tape in the pile of other
videos. Dave starts looking everywhere in the cabin for it.
He even looks in the video pile, but doesn't see it! What a
goof. So now
he goes back outside in the dark to look for his
tape. Myself and Kevin are laughing at Dave hysterically from
inside. After about a hour and a half, Dave finally gives up and
comes inside. He sits down in a chair all pissed off. He
looks in the video pile, picks up a tape, and he has this rage look on
his face. He is physically shaking, then he says calmly, "Is his
my tape?" Needless to say, he was really pissed off at us for the
rest of the trip. He didn't even talk to us for a couple
weeks. I don't know why Dave would be so mad at us?
3. The Roman Candles
There is a great tradition at the cabin, shooting roman
candles at each other. Now, if you keep the candles away from the face,
this is a fun and sort of safe form of entertainment. Some may
disagree, but too bad, your wrong. So this one trip we had out,
Keith being the man-whore he is, took a few chick out there. These
chicks weren't exactly classy. One of them was a pretty easy
chick to say the least. To make a long story short, these were
not the type of people that we want at the cabin. So we thought
(after a few drinks of course) that we should give them the cabin
froshing. So we start chasing them and each other around with the
roman candles. The only problem with them is that they were
pansies. They tried to do the whole guilt trip thing.
Didn't work, I believe one of us said, if you don't like it, you can
take off. So they did, and we laughed and sang "Nah Nah Nah
Nah....Hey Hey Hey...Goodbye". The rest of the stay was great
without them. Aren't we class acts or what. *NOTE - Go to
Food Land in Alberta Beach for a great supply of Roman Candles.
2. Chemical Fire.....Mach 2
Well, there has to be one bonfire that sticks out of all
the cabin trips, and its this one. This was the same trip as the
"Keith's T-shirt" story. A lot of booze was consumed on that
trip, so judgment was obviously impaired. We were all tuckered
out from the Roman Candle fights, so we had to find something else to
do. So at first some of the guys started putting a lot of wood in
the fire and that got it going. Then, one of the guys went into
the tool shed, and grabbed some flammable material. He deiced to
throw it into the fire. Now that got it going. Now, I
missed seeing most of what was thrown in, but I saw the after
effects. Many a things were put in the fire. Some examples
were motor oil, gas, bug repellant, turpentine, etc. You can just
imagine what kind of fire this was. I estimate that the flames
were consistently 10-15 feet high. I would say one would have to
stay a few metres away because of the heat. The tree branches
about are still burnt to this day. I still to this day have not
seen a fire quite like it, and I probably won't. Shelving the
ashes wasn't the best job either. Needless to say, we weren't
feeling too well after that. After shoveling them, there was a mystery
mist in the backyard, so I think it was time to call it a weekend and
get out of there.
1. Keith's Car
OK....numero uno. Before I say this story, I was
not present when this happened, but the mental image I get is still
priceless. Now forgive me if this story is a little
inaccurate. There is a bit of a slope from the road along the
driveway up to the cabin. For some reason, you'll have to ask
Keith, he had his door open, and his car in neutral. He was
outside his car, and it starts rolling down the hill. The door
clotheslines him to the ground while the car rolls down the hill onto
the road into the ditch. Being the great bunch of people we are,
instead of seeing if Keith is OK, or try to rescue his car, they just
fell to the ground laughing their ass off. We are so great.
Now, if this was anyone else but Keith, this wouldn't be number
one. Anyone who knows Keith, this story just makes it funnier
that it involves him. So he can say that he got ran over by his
own car.
So there you have it...some great memories. Other
things I will remember about the cabin are the double-shitter outhouse,
the fact that the cabin itself looked like it was about to collapse, as
well as places people threw up. Those bedrooms were great too,
the fact that you can go over the wall into the bed next door and scare
Dave while he is sleeping. Listening to Keith as well sleep talk
telling Dave to 'shut the hell up'. There were also great mellow
times like going for walks at 2 in the morning, as well as the
Oktoberfest. Some great times and memories thinking back, but its
also sad that its all over now. Thinking back about this stuff still
puts a smile on my face. So hopefully one of us will strike it
rich one of these days and get a cabin...hopefully in West Cove.
To finish off, here are some pictures of some of the mayhem of 'The
Cabin'. Defiantly some good times.
GALLERY:
TESTING
OUT THE FUNNEL
CABIN SAFETY EQUIPMENT
THE TRADING POST
THE CABIN IS SAFE AND SECURE
EXAMPLE OF A BONFIRE
CABIN JUSTICE
TOKE UP DAVE
DAVE GUARDING HIS MADE IN
CANADA TAPES
Related
Rants:
Dave's Top 10 Cabin Moments
Joe's Top 10 Beers
Big Brother is Watching You
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Updated: April 28, 2007
Created: May 17, 2004
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